Friday, June 17, 2011

150 Days of Halloween: Die You Zombie Bastards!

Well this was certainly a departure from the rest of the list. I went into Die You Zombie Bastards without knowing anything about the movie. Not a thing, never even heard of it, which is incredibly rare for me. Where did I get the idea to include it on the list then? One of you crazy bastards suggested it to me in the comments once, so I added the damn thing. Thanks you lunatic.

Oh! As a quick aside, those who read my first two posts about Space Pirates and Zombies, the third and final entry is now up on Nightmare Mode. Check it out.
What is this i don't even...
This is one of the weirdest movies I have seen in a long time, and seriously funny at times as well. Right off the bat, if you ever intend to watch this movie, be sure to watch it with some friends. The movie is unrelenting in its breakneck pace, which pairs well with a schizophrenic story and editing. Scenes will interrupt other scenes, at one point the movie just switched to a Spanish superhero movie for five minutes before switching back, all for no reason. Even better, the sidekick character that came with that moment remains for the rest of the movie, confusing the viewer and the characters in the movie alike, prompting "who the fuck are you?" lines both in and out of the screen.

Its hard to give a breakdown of this movies plot, at times it feels like seven or more ridiculous movies inter-cut together. We have a Amphibious Man with a massive penis who is being tracked by a trio of sexy Paleoarcheologists, those three are then kidnapped by a mad scientist who wants to make a zombie army. We have a serial killer with a heart of gold who is in love with his similarly insane wife, and when the wife if kidnapped by the same mad scientist, he dons a super hero suit made of human skin and sets off to find and save her. The movie follows his adventures around the globe to find his wife and gain the tools and skills he will need to save her, this results in various tangential stories being told, from Rastafarian super villains to Swedish cheese demons.
The face of a Paleoarcheology.
When not following our serial killer hero, we watch the mad scientist reminisce about his childhood, work on his evil machinations, and alter his bride to be with various "enhancements." For those of you familiar with Troma films, this should all sound pretty standard, and while this wasn't actually made by Troma, it was made by former Troma film makers. Its a seriously strange movie.
The faces of a Paleoarcheology as zombies.
If you decide to make the plunge, then get ready for a barrage of unnecessary nudity, hilariously fake gore, makeup, and penises, and lots of "WTF" moments as this movie drunkenly stumbles through countless scenes of utter madness. This movie breaks the fourth wall with the reckless abandon and savage brutality of the kool-aid man, and just like that massive jug of sugar, this movie makes no apologies about it. The hero of the movie progressively overacts as the movie goes on, repeating lines in ridiculous voices, waving his arms and entire body around to accentuate lines, and generally just being the best thing ever.

If you find insanity distilled down to a muddy paste to be entertaining, then you need to watch this pile of cinematic discharge. Find some unwitting friends, some beer, or some fragrant greens and settle in to watch your very mind melt on TV. You will smell the alcohol on your television's breath, and after awhile the TV will slowly emit a thick cloud of pot smoke, that's how utterly saturated the production of this movie must have been, just watching gives you a contact crazy.
Like if someone made a movie after only ever watching MST3K skits.
Tomorrow we pull a hard 180 in tone for The Hole, although almost anything would be a 180 after Die You Zombie Bastards! If you want to know what other movie to expect, or want to read reviews for previous entries on the list, see my full schedule for The 150 Days of Halloween.


  1. hahaha quality acting, sounds pretty weird

  2. Green zombie girls? Obviously a must see :]

  3. Sounds like a cool cult movie.

  4. Boobs! I love watching a movie I have heard nothing about.

  5. I'm always down for a good zombie flick.

  6. Ah, the good old days when every zombie was green...

  7. Haha this looks ridiculous, I've gotta see it.